Tessa: Happy and Perfect
What about children makes parents happy?
Certainly not the crying infants, sleepless nights, staying home at night because the children are sleeping, terrible two’s, tantrums, teenage rebellion, back talking, and I could go on and on. My wife and I have a PERFECT child, Tessa. Yet, Tessa can also turn into what we call Baby Gremlin. I want to dive into what it is about children that creates happiness. One source of happiness is love: sincere, genuine, unlimited charity shared between individuals. That kind of love should be found in a parent child relationship. There are obviously degrees to this love as there are degrees to our happiness. But in the end, the stronger our relationship is with Tessa, the greater the happiness.
Sure that love and connection can be formed with friends, family members, and others, but I believe one of the reasons the parent child relationship can be so powerful is because with children, parents are given a head start. Immediately at birth a connection is formed that begins our relationship at a level it takes years to develop with others. With Tessa there was an immediate bond and genuine care and love for her that will take years to develop for others at the same level.
Tessa: Funny and Perfect
Why is this? I don’t know exactly. But with God’s hand, we created Tessa. Because we helped to bring Tessa into the world, we have an immediate connection to her and have feelings of love, compassion, and desire that are unparalleled in this world. Through Tessa goals can be realized, dreams can be lived, ambitions can be accomplished, and desires can be fulfilled because Tessa is “ours,” our product, our creation, our making. We want the best for her in every aspect of her life.
With this head start, we have a desire to continue to grow that relationship. Using an apple tree as an example, it must be watered, nourished, supported, and pruned to realize its full potential. It requires effort from both her and us to reach the greatest relationship possible between us. What does this mean that we need effort from Tessa?
What does this mean for me?
Well, Tessa, like all children, desires to be loved. She desires to spend time with her father, she wants to play house, she wants to cook in the kitchen with me, she even wants to help me unload the dishwasher, she wants to go play at the park, she wants me to see her having fun (climbing challenging play equipment, going down scary slides, jumping off rocks, throwing rocks in the river,) she desires my interaction and attention more than anything else in the world.
Tessa: Sophisticated and Perfect
How long will this last? In my mind that depends. If I take advantage of these opportunities, grow this relationship while I can, talk with Tessa, interact with her, pay attention to her, become best friends with her, and sincerely care about all aspects of her life then that relationship will continue to grow. Hypothetically, she’ll still want to go on daddy daughter dates even when she is a teenager. On the other hand, if I don’t take advantage of these opportunities when they are so available then it will be drastically harder when she becomes a teenager. It will be practically too late when she is 16, driving, with her own friends. And when she is 18, 21, 30… it’ll be considerably difficult to catch up. When a child wants love, attention, and interaction for years without receiving it, it makes it that much more difficult to develop that relationship at later stages.
What about the parents? When the relationship is neglected, tampered with, and/or lost there is usually feelings of guilt and sadness. Parents know what could have been. Parents always have that feeling inside of them, that same connection they felt when their child was born. This is why in my mind, some of the greatest feelings of guilt and sorrow that can be felt in this world is when parents realize they should have put more effort into growing their relationship with their children.
Tessa: Baby Gremlin and Still Perfect
If these are the shoes you are in, as a parent or child, forgiveness is often the answer. I wrote this as a reminder to me as a parent, but for children, even if you feel anger towards your parents (sometimes rightfully so,) I would encourage you to forgive and give the relationship a chance.
So what are my personal takeaways?
First, I can’t waste opportunities I am given to develop a relationship with Tessa. I need to overlook the messes and tantrums and focus on the fact that I have very limited time to nurture and develop a relationship with Tessa, who, along with my Heavenly Father and my wife is my source to the greatest happiness possible.
Second, there is no excuse, reach out, make amends, do everything possible, be quick to forgive and hold your anger. Brandon you need to make the move, be the mature one, whatever it is. Always make the choice that will best improve your relationship with God, Calista, and Tessa. Always.
Tessa: Angelic and Perfect
Achieving Happiness 